Thursday, 13 July 2017

What They Don't Tell You About Getting A Puppy

I have mentioned my little baby Martha here on my blog so many times, she is a huge part of my life so I am obviously going to talk about her hell of a lot. Next month my little baby will be 1, so I thought that now is the perfect time to open your eyes to what having a puppy is really like. I love her little fluffy face, but believe me when I say that she has been a handful.
I have always owned dogs, but they have been rescue dogs and we have bypassed this playful puppy stage, so we really didn’t know what to expect. It has been eye opening to say the least. I adore my baby and I wouldn’t change for the world, but I don’t think I will be rushing out and buying another pup anytime soon.
So, in this post I am going to be telling you the things that people don’t tell you, when you are going to buy a puppy.
1)       They will bite you constantly
With Martha, you could consider me lucky. She hasn’t been bothered about biting furniture which I know is a massive thing in puppies. The only thing that she has wanted to chew is me. She literally bites me anytime that she is near me. She will be nice one second and then her inner demon comes out and she is like an attack dog. Trying to train her not to try to chew my fingers off is so hard, I am even thinking of investing in chainmail gloves like deep sea divers!

2)       Their poo’s literally smell like rotten food
Before Martha I had a huge Japanese Akita, my Mika. She was huge and literally ate everything including human food even her poos weren’t as foul as Martha’s are. If she goes out into the garden and does one and I am in the house I can smell it and I am about 30 meters away. I even asked a vet if it was normal, he said it was, but what comes out of her is in no way, shape or form, normal!

3)       You will never see as much poo in your life – and it will be everywhere!
She is a pooing machine! I never seen so much faeces in my life. She is only little I just don’t get where it comes from. When she was a couple months old I can remember walking downstairs in the morning and it was just all over Martha and every inch of the floor. To say it was fucking awful is an understatement.
4)       Toilet training is fucking hard work and I can guarantee you will end up covered in wee more than once
Everybody has been saying to me that toilet training will be really easy because golden retrievers are so clever. So, she is either really clever and knows what she’s doing just to piss me off, or people are putting a little bit too much faith in a dog. It was literally months of pee everywhere before she mastered it. I can tell when she needs to have a wee so I would pick her up and carry her to the door and she would pee all over me numerous times!
5)       Lay ins will be a thing of the past
I am lucky if at a weekend I get to sleep in until 8am. She knows what time we get up for work and even at a weekend she sits and howls until we go downstairs and acknowledge her. It will be easier when she can have free rein of the house but now a year in I can barely remember what a lay in is!

6)       They will look cute and skinny in the bath when their fur is flat – but when they get out they will act like Satan
I love bathing Martha and to be honest I think she likes it too. I put her in the water and she just lays down and lets me pamper her for a while. Then when I get her out she turns into the spawn of Satan. She runs around like a mad woman and jumps, bites and shakes all over the place.
7)       You will look like you are abusing them when you drag them on a walk when all they want to do is lay down
I am sure that my puppy is the laziest little thing ever. She literally hates going for a walk. We are lucky if we get 3 houses down before she lays down and refuses to walk any further. I end up trying to lift her using her harness and dragging her. To other people it must look like I am horrible by forcing her to walk. Then when I turn back to walk home she practically sprints!
8)       They will literally do anything possible for food
We keep Martha’s food in a container on our kitchen counter. She has gone as far as dragging her crate with her teeth the whole way across the room and jumping on top of that and then up onto the side to knock over the food. I only knew what she had done after when she was crying stood on the kitchen counter too scared to jump back down!

9)       You will smell like dog
I love Martha, but she stinks. Puppies seem to get where water can’t. I walked out into the garden the other day and she had dug a hole in the flower bed and then just sat in it and all I could see peeping over the top was her ears. She smells like earth and mud and just dog. Which means that I do too. Body sprays are my new best friend.
10)   You will talk about your puppy so much people will mistake your dog for your child
There have been so many times when I have been talking to somebody about Martha and they think that she is my child. Depending on who I am speaking to I will either go along with them and let them believe that I have a daughter and gave her an old lady name or I will correct them and see their face turn into horror because they think I’m off my head.
I think every family should have a dog. But I don’t think I will be getting another puppy anytime soon. I love my little Martha and she really is turning into a lovely dog now that that over the top puppiness seems to be dulling down a little bit, but I’m not holding my breath!

Be sure to leave me a comment below and let me know some of your puppy disaster stories so I know that I’m not the only one who has been through all of this!


  1. One of the toughest thing for me when I got a puppy is whenever I'd leave the room she'd begin whimpering and crying. Even at night she'd cry for attention it was so said. This was during the first week we got her. And yes they crap a lot. x

    1. I used to hate it when she would cry in the night, so many times I would end up going downstairs and just sitting with her for a while!

      Danielle xx

  2. Aw man she is the cutest ever!!! Is she a golden? I had one from a puppy too, their puppy teeth are like needles! I've never had a dog other than from a puppy so I'm used to the nightmare training now! xx

    Tamz |

    1. She is a golden. She is so precious, but loves to bite me!

      Danielle xx


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